The good thing about not being able to sleep at 4 o'clock in the morning is that you come online and discover FANTASTIC e-mails sent to you shortly after midnight. This has brightened me up no end...

"Dear Phil

i am flattered that you feel the need to use my name to sell your website, and that my work has enraged you enough that you feel the need to discredit me, however i work to heal and help people to be positive in life, unlike you. Your thought's about me are untrue, and i thought had been removed me from google and yahoo search's. I see tonight that you have return to using my name in a unture and illegal way to sell your negative thought's about other people. I do not want to have to resort to taking legal action against you, i shall give you one more chance to remove it, i am sure you would have a much happier life if you were less negative and nasty about people and thing's you know nothing about."

Sadly it's not signed, and I'm not sure it's entirely in English either, but the liberal use of apostrophes for no apparent reason can mean only one thing...

It's from SECRET OF LIGHT!!!!!

Although for a while I thought it was Orlaith e-mailing me from inside the Big Brother house.

Anyhoo, it's nice to know that old Secret has been keeping well since our last correspondence. Obviously I'm still struggling to understand what the heck he/she is talking about, but the fact that they've taken the trouble to get in touch again means a lot to me. I'm particularly pleased they don't want to have to take legal action against me. That's a relief. Especially as I'm beginning to wonder if I'm talking to Andrea Foulkes (regression therapist and confirmed charlatan) herself here. She knows Phillip Schofield, and he's not a man you want to get on the wrong side of.

But I think I'll stick to my guns and hold out for a free regression therapy session. It might not change my unhappy life, my negativity, my general nastiness, and my complete ignorance of all things (I think that's an acccurate summing up of the charges), but with a bit of luck it might help me sleep.