After four years of accepting Facebook friend requests from people I was at school with, can barely remember, and have no wish to chat to, my stupidity has finally paid off. One of them's just posted something quite funny:

Met a transvestite from Greater Manchester yesterday.
He had a Wigan address.

Well it made me laugh anyway.

Changing the subject, I was looking at this page on the BBC website today, and having entered my date of birth, it told me with quite astonishing accuracy and precision that "When you were born, you were the 3,925,680,835th person alive on Earth and the 78,203,648,881st person to have lived since history began". Unless you think Adam & Eve were an allegory, in which case I'm the 78,203,648,879th. Apparently in 14 years time, the population of the world will have doubled in my lifetime, which is quite a sobering thought. It means I must be getting old.

But with the world's population set to reach the seven billion mark, and tonight being Halloween, the good news is that I've found a way to increase that figure still further, whilst simultaneously scaring small children.

Unfortunately it's date night tonight, so I'll have to tell you tomorrow. But before you ask, it doesn't involve impregnating Lisa whilst dressed as the child-catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Frankly, once was enough.