We're all set for the Persil sponsorship deal...

Toby's the laundry ad man's dream. Not only is he willing to pose in snowy clean towels, but you can always see the whites of his eyes.

And what's more, his Dad's willing to muscle in on the action...

I mean that in a quite literal sense. I was actually doing a bit of weight-lifting in the living room when Lisa asked me to lift Toby out of the bath. I was hoping she'd ask me to kick sand into the face of a seven-stone weakling, but it didn't happen. I think she just saw me looking ripped in a figure-hugging white t-shirt and thought it would hide the baby sick while we got him dry.

Either way, we're clearly the whiter-than-white family, and ready to sell out to the first multinational that offers us more than a fiver. I could do with the money for a new shirt. I can't get the sweat stains out of that one.