A mere twelve hours after publishing my version of Winner's Dinners here last night, the first reviews came flooding in. I arrived at Crawley Hospital this morning to be met by a receptionist who greeted me with the words "I loved the photo of your family on Mother's Day. You look like you're all lined up to be shot".

I told her that if we looked like we were about to die, it was purely an attempt to blend in with the Wish Tower diners. She then asked me if I enjoyed my honeymoon in God's Waiting Room, before calling me a skinflint. I think I need to de-friend her on Facebook.

Mind you, the woman's generous with her gifts. I came back from lunch to this post-it note...


It was attached to a card they give to the elderly and housebound...


She'd helpfully marked the phone number in case I didn't have my specs.