I was accosted in the post office today by an old lady who wanted to talk to me about her rheumatism. It must be the caring warmth I exude from every pore. I smiled sweetly and pretended I didn't speak English, a plan which may have stood more chance of success were it not for the fact that the lady in question knows me.

I'm planning to place a spread bet on how many times the phrase "the magic of the FA Cup" is heard on the BBC today. If anyone's interested, I'm buying at 43.

Saturday nights have become far more enjoyable since I discovered 'Dark Angel' on Channel 5. It's a marvellous programme. I couldn't actually tell you what it's about, as I've only ever watched it with the sound down, but take it from me, Jessica Alba is VERY talented.

RIGHT!!! I think maybe it's about time I started this old thing up again. It's been a while, but on the positive side, there's a chance that anyone who celebrated my last posting by making love will be expecting their baby any time now. So congratulations to you all, and remember those breathing exercises.