Admittedly, Toby's not so much scrubbed-up as sitting down in a sleepsuit and sucking on the bottle from Amelie's Baby Born doll, but he still looks pretty cute. As for his sister, she has the kind of fringe that would make Marie jealous, and could pass for about ten. Which should come in handy if I decide to turn to a life of crime. I could send her out shoplifting, safe in the knowledge that the Crimestoppers photofit would look more like Lindsay Lohan.
Anyhoo, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Phil, the cute pictures of your children are all very well, but whatever happened to Hatebreed?". It's a question I'm asked all the time. And fortunately I'm in a position to answer it. As my mother is no doubt aware, Hatebreed are an American metalcore band who have spent the past twenty years fusing heavy metal and crossover thrash with hardcore punk to create a kind of Celtic Frost Hardcore. No, really. And they're currently living on a bus opposite Peter Pan's Playground on the seafront...
I'll be honest, this time yesterday I'd never heard of them. But I was standing in the playground with the children, and I couldn't help notice their Hotelbus. It's like the future of bed & breakfast. Travelodge might put the word 'travel' in there, but they don't actually take you anywhere. With Hotelbus, however, you could check-in in Brighton and wake up in Devizes. If you were really unlucky. Either way, it makes more sense than a static building, and Hatebreed are clearly making the most of it. They're like a modern day Cliff & The Shadows.
Obviously I was supposed to be watching the children, but in reality, I found myself watching Frank Novinec, former guitarist with Ringworm (I'm not making this up) emerge from the Concorde 2 music venue, and board the Hatebreed Hotelbus. Which is not something you see every day.
One thing I do see every day, however, is Amelie's old friend from playgroup. I don't know what it is about the seafront at the weekend, but every time we go down there, we meet the same family. As mentioned in this blog post, they've seen us there twice in the past month, and both times I was there without Lisa, so I'm beginning to think they live under the pier, and they're beginning to think we've split up.
Yesterday was no different. Lisa had a bad headache, possibly brought on by the stress of her coffee machine, so I took the kids out for a couple of hours while she had a lie down. We'd barely had time to buy ice creams when Amelie was reunited with her old friend...
Amelie's not getting any younger. She could pass for eleven. Her friend is in the year above her at school (not that Amelie's at school yet), but they look like a couple of teenagers out on the town. Albeit a town with colourful tarmac and a toddler slide. They've come a long way since this video.
You might notice that only one of them is wearing shoes, the other having cast them off with gay abandon, against the advice of her mother, in some kind of tribute to Sandy Shaw. Fortunately, that foot-based inequality was soon rectified...
Amelie's nothing if not easily led. Unless Lisa and I ask her to do something.