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Sunday, August 31, 2003

I'm back from a week in the Isles of Scilly, during which I shamelessly wrote my website address on a blackboard in the St Mary's Heritage Centre, next to which my friend Helen drew a picture of me in the sea, and added the words "Mail me for a chat". Needless to say, no one has. That's what happens when you draw accurate pictures.

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

I'm posting this from the IT suite on the Isles of Scilly. And I didn't even know they had electricity here.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

But I'm not scared to embrace that side of my sexuality.

Monday, August 18, 2003

Although, to be honest, I'm not 100% sure it's female.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

And what's more, I think the feeling's mutual.

Saturday, August 16, 2003

I've fallen in love with a fat-tailed sheep from Colchester Zoo.

Friday, August 01, 2003

I'm worried. Somebody in America has just arrived at my site after doing a search for the words "Diet Coke and your kidneys". It led them to my short film 'Keep On Keeping On', which (as far as I remember) contains very little medical advice regarding the effects of sugar free cola on the major organs. The thing is, I had no idea there WAS an effect on your kidneys from drinking Diet Coke. If there is, I could be in trouble. And does Ribena damage your liver? I need to know. I could be on the verge of major organ failure here and I don't even know it. More worrying still is that my website visitor may have been reaching out for help from the throes of his weekly dialysis session, only to be horribly let down when he found that my site contained not sound advice, but a dodgy script about nuns and sea monkeys. You know what Americans are like - I'll be sued for malpractice quicker than you can say "no win no fee".