I got up early this morning, watched endless breakfast TV reports about police turning up at Michael Jackson's ranch with a warrant for his arrest, then went shopping. Whereupon I walked into Tescos at 9am to find they had the store muzak system on a permanent loop of Jacko singing "Smooth Criminal". It's this kind of humour which might just make me shift allegiance from Asda and shop with Mr Tesco more often. That, and the fact that they do a mean onion bagel.