Since last putting finger to keyboard, Toby has turned four...

We've acquired a mean, dragon-slaying kitten...

And Lisa has defied the laws of physics with a pile of washing-up...

We've also sailed the seven seas and seen spectacular sights beyond anyone's imagination...


So after all of that, we needed a holiday. Which is how we've wound up here...

We're currently staying in a remote log cabin at the foot a mountain, miles from the nearest town, where the locals speak some weird, incomprehensible language. I've seen at least fifteen horror films that start this way. Although, to be fair, most deranged slashers don't keep their lawns looking this neat...

Clearly it's the grass that gets slashed on a weekly basis, not the guests. Although if we do go missing, my car registration's above. If someone could pass that on to the police, I'd be grateful.

Anyhoo, we're currently somewhere between Bryncoch and Pontardawe, just south of the Brecon Beacons in Wales. I wanted to be within easy reach of both the beacons and the Gower Peninsula, so that we could make the most of the scorching early-August temperatures by spending time on some of Britain's most beautiful beaches and spectacular mountains. So as we speak, I'm in the middle of nowhere, looking at clouds with a jumper on.

By choosing this week to go on holiday, it means we're missing this year's Brighton Pride, although I was pleased to see lots of signs on the M4 yesterday directing us towards 'Cardiff Pride'. It was heartwarming to know that different parts of the country are organising similar events at the same time. Until I realised that the signs actually said 'Cardiff P+ride' and were directing us towards a car park.

But we arrived here in good time, to views such as this...

... and a sense of peace and solitude we'd never get in Brighton. Mainly because Amelie and Toby live there. The bad news is they've followed us here too...

They're currently running with a pack of wild dogs...

... but they seem to be loving it, so we're letting them enjoy their freedom while we catch up on 'Words With Friends' and enjoy some serious art appreciation. The log cabin is decorated with some fine original artworks, which make it seem like a home from home. Although most of ours are done in felt-tip on A4 paper.

The owner of this particular property, however, clearly doesn't share this family's love of dinosaurs and mermaids, and has instead decided that the perfect picture to place on the wall of a holiday cottage that caters to families with young children is this impressive work of art...

I expect it's his wife. They have to make their own entertainment around here.