Well blow me down. Just as I was considering calling Lombard Direct and getting an unsecured personal loan of between eight hundred and fifteen thousand pounds (subject to status, written details available upon request), just to see me through to the end of the week, all my Christmases have come at once, in the form of a cheque for $25 from Writer Online. It's dated October 1st, so it only took a month to get here from America, which proves that crossing times HAVE improved slightly since the Pilgrim Fathers did the trip in 1620. It was worth waiting for though, just to see the artistic way they've written the letter 'G' on the cheque. It transforms my whole name into a thing of beauty. Whilst simultaneously reducing my chances of being able to cash it.