Amelie's on her high horse again...

Yes, after just one hour-long lesson at The Three Greys Riding School last weekend, Amelie's been transformed into a cross between National Velvet and Lester Piggott. That's her coach in the background. The thoroughbred stallion she's riding is called Arundel, which was pleasing news, as she assumed it had been named after the kingdom in Frozen.

We had a voucher for a one-off, half-price lesson, and we're not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so we had breakfast on the hoof and trotted off to the neighbouring village of Pyecombe last Sunday morning. It was an eye-opening experience for Toby, who discovered that horses aren't quite as big as he thought they were...

We could have paid extra for Toby to ride a Shetland pony, but frankly he struggles to stay on a swing, so I thought it best not to involve animals in his list of potential rides. Amelie, on the other hand, was a complete natural, and was soon cantering around the paddock like Harvey Smith without the V signs...


Having witnessed the skillful way she pressed the accelerator pedal by kicking her horse in the ribs, the instructor realised she was some kind of horse-whispering Equus-type figure, and before long, she was the only one allowed to ride around unescorted...

Admittedly, she had the occasional problem with steering, and ended up in the middle of the paddock a couple of times, but having proved her ability on the training ground, she was soon leading her horse to water by heading out onto the South Downs, past a couple of flooded fields...

She was driving one-handed by that point. It'll be bareback and no hands next time.

Of course, if her father has his way, there won't be a next time. I'm not paying thirty pounds a week to freeze my extremities in a manure-covered yard on a muddy hillside. So I'm saying no. Admittedly, I might be shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted, as Amelie loved it, and would happily go back daily, but I'm hoping to distract her with something cheaper. Like the washing up.

But one activity that I am happy to invest my time and money in is in eating out. So having reached the point where we could no longer feel our fingers, we headed down the hill for Sunday lunch at The Plough...

One thing I've learnt, however, is that a Gardner Family Fun Day doesn't end at lunchtime. It ends when everyone's lost the will to live. Which is usually early afternoon. So with lunch over, we ventured back out into the big freeze, and headed to Peacehaven beach for a bit of fossil hunting...

Despite Amelie's insistence on lining up her prehistoric finds on a bit of driftwood, those aren't actually old fossils. Although there are a couple in this picture...

If you think Toby looks wet, you'd be right. He'd just been soaked by a wave breaking over the sea wall. It was like the log flume ride at Thorpe Park, only cheaper, and quite a bit funnier. It put Lisa in a good mood for the rest of the day. I'm tempted to take him back there this afternoon so I can get it on film...