Some models are complete dogs...


And Amelie can now produce them at will, using nothing but her nimble fingers and an endless supply of hot air and rubber. It's been half-term this week, so she spent a few days with her grandparents', and whilst some families pass down wisdom through the generations in the form of esoteric knowledge and trade secrets, Amelie's acquired the skill of balloon modelling. It's been putting food on the Gardner family table for years.

Her absence has meant that I've been able to cover myself in glory (and blisters) by achieving my goal of building a set of bunk beds...

It's not so much a labour of love as a labour of Hercules, and the phrase 'never again' springs to mind. At one point I got trapped inside the frame and had to phone Lisa to come and rescue me. But having removed eight sacks of junk from the children's bedroom, moved a wardrobe, a bookcase and a chest of drawers, and thrown out a cupboard, two cabinets and a table, I finally reached the point where the kids could go to bed...

Although at the moment they're mostly using it for playing on my work iPad. And they're still mastering the concept of separate beds.

I've been supported through this endeavor by an eclectic mix of DVDs which I had playing on the kids' portable TV while I worked. I followed Taxi to the Dark Side with the complete box set of Gimme Gimme Gimme, so frankly it's been torture all the way.

Understandably, all of this has taken a considerable toll on both my physical and mental health...

So I could do with a holiday now. Unfortunately I'm back to work tomorrow. But the important thing is that the children can relax...

Not that Toby ever had a problem...

And to be honest, he needed a lie-down after being scared witless by a dinosaur...

Interestingly, Toby's terrified-by-a-prehistoric-killer look is a lot like his watching-3D-TV pose...

He has the permanent look of a Thunderbirds puppet.

As for Lisa, she's coped well with the trials and tribulations of having a husband attempting DIY for a week, but I put that down entirely to the Valentine's gift I gave her. She's been reading a lot about the theraputic aspects of art, and the calming effect that painting can have on the mind, body and soul. Naturally she can't draw to save her life, and I felt that painting-by-numbers might be a step too far, so I bought her a colouring book. It was either that or Fuzzy Felt, and that's harder to stick on the fridge.