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Friday, December 04, 2009

I had my six month review at work on Monday. Having put up with me for half a year now, they've decided to let me stay, which means I'm no longer on probation and they'll find it pretty difficult to get rid of me unless I'm caught stealing cameras. Which is unlikely to happen. Because I'm very stealthy and have a big coat.

One of the things which came up during the review is that my boss wants someone to produce a departmental newsletter on a regular basis, featuring news, views, horoscopes and recipes (those last two are negotiable), and with my extensive background as a professional writer and journalist (obviously I lied through my teeth at the interview), he thinks I'm just the man to do it. I had all-day clinics on Tuesday and Wednesday, so I was looking forward to Thursday, when I had a rare day in the office. I planned to spend it browsing Word templates on the Microsoft site, composing witty headlines, and trying to crowbar tabloid-style puns into every sentence.

Unfortunately things never work out the way I plan. It's the same for mice, apparently. Within five minutes of walking through the door yesterday morning, I'd been asked to go to Horsham Hospital with a computer hard drive which had been left behind by one of my colleagues. Fortunately I didn't need to go until late morning, but I decided to pop straight into the admin office to pick it up. Where the senior administrator immediately told me how desperate she was for help, and begged me to help her book appointments for a couple of hours.

Being the kind of bloke who can't say no, I said "oh alright then", and spent the rest of the morning summoning patients to Crawley Hospital. By which time my boss had found something else he wanted me to do at Horsham. I eventually left at 11:30am with a hard drive, a firewire lead, a CD-rom, and a list of jobs involving a desktop PC, a laptop and a retinal screening camera. I didn't get back until four-thirty.

But the good news is that Lisa and Amelie have gone to stay with her Mum for the weekend (I think it was something I said), so by this time on Sunday, I plan to have the newsletter designed, my Christmas shopping done, and a big chunk of my City & Guilds completed. Unless I decide to watch X Factor. But as for tonight, it's my work's Christmas meal down at the marina. Give me a few hours, and I should have the material for a gossip column.