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Monday, November 04, 2013

After more than ten years of (almost) ceaseless writing, this blog is currently facing the biggest threat to its existence since the summer of 2006, when I got a nasty paper cut on my favourite typing finger, and had to retire to the sofa to watch extra episodes of Bargain Hunt. That hideous, damaging and possibly evil threat to my life's work looks like this...

Although, admittedly, without them I'd have nothing to write about. The fact is that for the past few months, Toby's been remaking Cloverfield, using our flat as the film set of New York, and taking the part of the monster himself. Amelie's doing most of the filming, and I'm playing the Statue of Liberty. I lost my head in an earlier scene.

That chaos has coincided with Amelie starting school, and learning important lessons like how to throw her weight around at home - sometimes in a literal sense - whilst becoming ever more demanding in her attempts to read, write and produce artistic representations of my parenting skills. Most of which involve sad faces and big crosses. I feel like we're drowning in a sea of phonics books and Megablocks, whilst struggling to reach dry land. Mainly because we can't see the floor.

So I'm not finding much time to blog. I did, however, force a gap into my schedule yesterday morning to visit a couple of cool cats...

Not those cats, obviously. They're not so much cool as out in the cold. I'm talking about their hip owners, Stefan and Andrew, who kindly invited me around to their flat (or possibly I invited myself) for a brunch of good conversation and informed debate. I was offered hot dogs for breakfast, so Lisa's insisting I take her with me next time.

That morning was the highlight of my weekend, although that's not saying much, as the rest of it involved putting up shelves, fixing a leaky wall vent, and browsing the cat litter scoops at the nearest pet shop. I managed to break Chloe's scoop on Friday evening by panning for gold and picking up lead, so Amelie and I headed down to the garden centre on Saturday to buy a new one. I was hoping to get something cheap and cheerful, but their range was seriously expensive.

The good news is that if you're too exhausted to shake your hand from side to side for more than half a second, then you can now buy a vibrating cat litter scoop which does it for you. Although if you're that lazy, you should probably swap your cat for a sloth. Or fit a cat-flap.

As it happens, I didn't go for that one. Mainly because it didn't come in pink, and my personal shopper has very exacting standards. So instead we bought a BecoScoop, which is not only the colour of candyfloss, but is apparently "made from the natural plant fibres found in bamboo and rice husks". Thereby making it useful to both cats and pandas. I presume it's made in China. Unfortunately, the packaging states that the scoop is fully biodegradable, so if I leave it in the litter tray overnight, it won't be there in the morning. Next time I'm sticking with plastic.


Phil's Mum said...

2 beautiful photos! Is that a genuine one of the cats? How did anyone get them to pose like that? As for the children, they instinctively know how to look cute!!

Phil said...

I got the cats to pose like that by walking into their flat and making them too scared to come in through the cat flap. They've forgotten the blood, sweat and tears I put into raising them. The same goes for the children.