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Sunday, June 29, 2014

The most important rule for any visitor to Jurassic Park is not to feed the dinosaurs...


You might get your loom bands caught on their teeth, and find yourself sucked down the throat of a T-rex.

On the subject of loom bands, the breaking news from around here is that in addition to making bracelets on her fingers, Amelie can now knit rubber bands on her toes, thereby doubling her potential output. I don't actually have documentary evidence of this skill, as she discovered it shortly before bedtime, whilst wearing a night dress and no knickers, so photography was technically illegal, but trust me, she can do it. With this level of productivity, she'll have cut off the circulation to most of her extremities by the end of next week.

Anyhoo, as the photo above demonstrates, the council successfully received my busybodying letter of complaint about the state of the grass at the local park. Even though I never sent it. Or wrote it, for that matter. Regardless of the specifics, they've now mown the communal lawns, providing plenty of food for carnivorous dinosaurs and wayward toddlers, so I took the kids down there yesterday morning.

Amelie was keen for us to go dressed like this...


... but I wasn't convinced the neighbours were ready for the Anne Boleyn / Boss Hogg combo, so I put Amelie in a pink tutu instead.

As for my health, that's still on the dubious side of dodgy, with random attacks of nausea, a slack-jawed expression, and flu symptoms entering their third week. But the good news is that I've now been lucky enough to receive a personal consultation from a fellow healthcare professional, who has taken a break from wrangling diseased retinas across the Thames Valley to hand out some tailor-made medical advice to yours truly. And having weighed up my symptoms, personal circumstances and religious inclinations, she's advised me to start praying to St Albinus of Angers, the patron saint for protection from pirate attacks. Apparently when you live this close to the sea, you can't be too careful, and the way my luck's going...

5 comments:

Phil's Mum said...

You're obviously desperate enough to try anything now!

David East said...

You haven't posted for four days. Hope things haven't got worse...

Phil's Mum said...

I think he's been to Wimbledon, getting up close and personal with Serena Williams, Dave.

David East said...

Not sure that's going to do him much good.

Phil's Mum said...

No it didn't do her any good eilther.