It's not until you clear out all your kitchen cupboards in preparation for moving, that you realise just how much food you have that was best before 2003. And to be honest, I'm sure I've used that nutmeg in the last six months, so I was a bit disappointed to find it expired in June 2001. But the real quandary has to be those four tins of baked beans that should have been used by last November. To me that's borderline. So I may still eat them.

But I've chucked out everything else, so my kitchen now looks like it's been hit by a famine. My gran had a better stocked larder at the height of rationing. I'm also trying to cut down to the barest essentials to enable me to move from a 10' by 11' kitchen to one the size of a phone box, so I'm spending a lot of time trying to decide whether I really need seven wooden spoons and three mixing bowls. My current thinking is yes, but I may have to change that.

I also read a quote the other day from the 19th century scientist Louis Agassiz, who apparently said "I cannot afford to waste my time making money". I feel that sums up my life quite well. Of course, Louis was probably thinking more along the lines of his scientific research being more important than any attempts to get rich, whereas I'd just rather go on holiday.

So with that in mind, I've spent the last couple of days discussing possible excursions with my Big Sis and Lisa. We leave for Texas on Saturday, but Sis has booked us onto a heavily discounted four-day all-you-can-eat cruise, which leaves a week on Thursday and sails to Cozumel in Mexico. Once there, you have the option of leaving behind the free food, disembarking, and handing over large amounts of cash for the chance to go on an overpriced excursion.

Current favourite is the 'Hideaway Beach Boat Adventure', where for just $94 per person you get to drive your own two-seater speedboat around the Cozumel coast to "a hidden [though hopefully not that hidden] lagoon and beach". Big Sis is keen to go snorkelling, and is packing the flippers as we speak, while I had just about managed to convince myself that taking the wheel of a speedboat after just a five-minute "safety orientation", is perfectly sensible and safe...

... at which point I sent a jokey e-mail to Lisa saying "Where was Kirsty McColl on holiday when she was hit by a speedboat?"

I chuckled at my own wit. Then decided to look up the answer on the internet.

Yup, it was Cozumel. And she was snorkelling at the time. Apparently plans to rename the 'Hideaway Beach Boat Adventure' as 'The Kirsty McColl Death Tour' were shelved at the last moment. Well ok, that last bit might not be strictly true. But it's good to know that in the wake (no pun intended) of a tragic accident, they're still willing to let idiots like me drive speedboats past scuba-diving siblings for $94. Money well spent in my opinion. Though I'd be quite disappointed if I killed my sister. I wouldn't get any more free holidays in America.