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Wednesday, February 01, 2006

It's Wednesday, which of course means my weekly e-mail from the Advertising Standards Authority, outlining the pointless cases they've been wasting their time on important work they've been carrying out this week, so here we go with another in my occasional series entitled "Where Do People Find the Time?"...

"A TV ad for Gamestation promoted a game called "Ultimate Spider Man" as their "Steal of the Week". It showed a woman unable to recall the name of the game she had intended to buy. She said "Hiya, I'm looking for the man with the pointy ears." The assistant said "Oh right, do you mean Kevin?" and pointed towards the cashier. She said "No, no, he's a superhero. He's err climbing, I'm always climbing buildings me. Pshoo! Pshoo!" and stuck out her arms in a theatrical way. The assistant said "Oh, Ultimate Spider Man!" and took it down from the shelf. She said "Yeah! Thanks." The voiceover said "Get the right game this Christmas, send your mum to Gamestation."

A viewer complained that the ad was trying to persuade children to pressurise their parents into visiting Gamestation to buy their games."

And on the subject of adverts, I'm becoming increasingly irritated by the ad for Colgate Total Plus Whitening toothpaste, where "Paul Khanna, Screenwriter" insists on telling me about his yellowing teeth every twenty minutes throughout the day when I'm trying to enjoy Des & Mel (a futile task, I admit). I'm particularly irritated by the fact that I've never heard of this giant of British cinema, despite being someone who always takes note of the writer's name on every film I ever see.

So I've just looked up Mr Khanna on the IMDB. Naturally I was hoping he wouldn't be there, so that I could say "I Khanna find him" in a Scottish accent, but as it happens, Paul Khanna is a bona fide screenwriter.

He's written one film.

Which lasted four minutes.

Featured one actor.

And cost $10.

So it's no wonder he's looking for work in adverts.