Why do TV camera crews never want to interview me on the street?


Just because I don't have a green moustache and trousers made out of a deckchair. It's discrimination, that's what it is.

Anyhoo, yesterday was Pride 2008 in Brighton, and what a day we had for it. I don't know if it was the pouring rain I hated most, or the bitter east wind which came all the way from Siberia just to give me a headache. But either way, it was grim. Lisa's Mum always stays indoors when Pride is on, and frankly I wished I was there with her. The only thing to be proud of was climate change.

But before retreating onto the pier to defrost ourselves with warm doughnuts, Lisa and I did see some rare sights. Here's the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender wing of the Conservative Party...


It's surprising how many of them there were. About half the local Tory party seemed to have crammed on to that float. The others were all up at the clock tower, taking part in the anti-gay protest.

Anyway, the celebrations continue today with a street party just around the corner from me, and a cabaret featuring the likes of Betty Swollocks and Fonda Cox. They both sound like nice girls. Interestingly, Lisa once met Betty Swollocks at a funeral, which just goes to show the kind of social circles she moves in.

Sadly, however, I don't think I'll be able to make it along to this evening's event, 'Around the World in Eighty Gays', due to ill health. August obviously doesn't agree with me, because the prostatitis I had last summer appears to have reared its ugly head, and I feel as rough as... well, as rough as Lisa really. But at least she'll feel better in October.

The good news though is that I now have a four-week supply of antibiotics which I picked up from the chemist yesterday. Whilst waiting for my prescription, a bloke walked in and told the pharmacist he'd hit his head on a tree (as you do) and wanted something to remove a splinter. Fortunately, my local chemist isn't in it for the money, so instead of selling him something, he offered to personally remove the wood from the man's skull. It was an entertaining couple of minutes. I'm not saying it went badly, but having failed to stop the bleeding, they ended up having to send him straight to casualty with a wad of tissues on his head. The man only went in for a pair of tweezers. You have to laugh.