I don't know if it's the influence of television, or just an innate tendency towards rudeness, but Amelie's started bidding people farewell with the words "See you later, suckers!". I wouldn't mind, but she said it to me and Toby as she left for church this morning, which seemed slightly inappropriate. Although I suppose if we're the only two members of the family not going to heaven, it could be quite fitting.

Either way, I've told her she needs to get a grip...


It's quite impressive that she can get little Tobalobe to lay down his sweet head (with its squeaky clean hair) just by singing the words in a song. I can sense a future for that girl as a prison visitor, calming people on death row by serenading them through the bars. Although it could lead to nose injuries if they're anything like Toby.

Anyhoo, on the subject of naps (this is seamless), my tip for the Grand National may have come a valiant second, but if you're thinking I didn't pick the winner, you need to think again. I actually picked it on Friday. In the office sweepstake. Yes, Auroras Encore was one of the three horses I picked out of my colleague's woolly hat when I should have been working. I may have referred to it as a donkey, but even donkeys can run if you give them a kick up the ass, and sure enough, mine romped home, netting me the pot of £27.

Tragically, and to my eternal regret, we agreed that the winner would buy cakes for the whole department, so I was forced to visit Asda last night to see just how little I could get away with spending on baked goods. They had a Smart Price cheesecake reduced for quick sale to just 57p, which was mightily tempting, but in the end I decided I should spend at least twice that.

In addition to that win, I also collected on Cappa Bleu. I was utterly convinced that he'd complete the race and be there or thereabouts, but as the world's most cautious gambler, I decided to hedge my bets a little...


I not only backed him to win, but to place in the first four, the first six and the first ten. It's what you call covering all the bases. Admittedly I'd have won more if I'd put just a tenner on each-way, but using this method meant that if he'd fallen at the last fence, he'd have had time to get back up, dust himself down, sign a few autographs, and still finish in time to make me some money.

So it was a successful afternoon. I even found the time to give my daughter the little push she needs...


It's like a scene from 'The Birds' at the end. I stopped filming before they all settled on the climbing frame.