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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

It's a well known fact that a picture paints a thousand words, and Amelie has a lot to say. So it comes as no surprise that she spends a lot of her time drawing. Only yesterday, she created this striking family portrait of us all...

She's clearly captured our idiosyncrasies, and defined the qualities which mark us each out as unique. We're like Bucks Fizz doing Gangnam Style. The impressive thing is that she's drawn Lisa with her eyes closed, thereby making it photo-realistic art.

Lisa was particularly pleased with that picture, as she was telling me that children express their true innermost feelings via their artwork, and claimed that the fact that Amelie had drawn us all with smiles indicates that she's a genuinely happy child who's contented with family life.

Unfortunately she's also fickle. I was playing a game with her last night, which basically involved me sitting on the floor with a couple of plastic cats and a dolls house, and acting out scenes of burglary. Amelie, who was wearing a dinosaur mask at the time for no apparent reason, took on the role of a cat called Neeka (I've no idea if I'm spelling that correctly) who was both a home-owner and a victim of crime, and my responsibility was to repeatedly send Bow-Cat and Black Spider (who's also a cat) (don't ask) over to Neeka's house to steal her belongings. I presume Amelie's heard the phrase 'cat-burglar' and filled in the gaps herself.

Obviously this was the most fun I've had since I last went to the dentist, so when bedtime finally came, and Amelie was dragged off by her mother, she instructed me to carry on playing while she slept. At which point she took off her hairband, placed it around Neeka, and added "Pretend she's doing some hula-hooping". I lied through my teeth and said I would, before tidying it all away.

When she got up this morning, Amelie asked me if I'd been playing with her cats through the night, so I confidently told her I had, at which point she asked me to play with them again. Unfortunately I had a clinic to get to, and wasn't sure that feline hula-hooping would be a valid excuse for lateness, so I told Amelie I couldn't. And besides, I'd been up all night playing that game, and you can have too much of a good thing.

Sadly, 'reasonable' isn't a word in Amelie's vocabulary. Although she knows 'magnifique' and 'rhinoplasty'. Despite me explaining to her that my patients wouldn't wait while I burgled a dolls house with a couple of plastic kittens, she burst into tears, stomped her feet and slammed her bedroom door.

Five minutes later, she emerged and handed me this...

A week ago, I was great. Now she no longer loves me.


Phil's Mum said...

It's very hard being a parent - and a grandparent!!