Like musketeers, little pigs, blind mice, cheers and, of course, stooges, it's a well known fact that all good things come in threes...
Although I was never a big fan of Bros. But as Lisa is fond of saying, "omne trium perfectum", which, roughly translated, means that as of today, our marriage has survived for three successful years.
The third anniversary is Leather, so naturally Lisa was expecting a pair of shoes, but I like to think that the secret of a happy marriage is spontaneity and surprise. So I took her unawares by spending £1.99 in Lidl.
As anyone with any scents will tell you, Lidl's 'Suddenly' perfume is virtually indistinguishable from Chanel, but while the latter retails at around £65, Lidl are knocking theirs out for £3.99. Although four quid is a bit out of my budget, so I waited until they were selling it for half-price a few weeks ago.
The result is that I've sniffed out a bargain and Lisa now smells more like Coco Chanel and less like Coco the Clown. All of which means that the sweet smell of success is currently wafting through our flat, and I'm no longer getting up her nose.
As an extra gift to my wife, I booked today off work so that I could dedicate some quality time to the institution which means so much to me. Not marriage, obviously, but the British Association of Retinal Screening. I spent this morning creating our brand new Facebook page, which, much like myself, is now desperate to be liked by everybody.
I've managed to resist the temptation to just fill it with photos of myself (although it's only a matter of time), and it won't be long before I'm paying some kind of Indian click-farm for ten thousand cheap likes, but as things stand right now, anyone who feels even slightly inclined to 'like' that page should go ahead and make my day. Quantity is far more important than quality, so I'm happy to accept support from people who don't know what the word 'retinal' means. Especially those who work in eye screening.
Thanks in advance, and I love you all. Particularly my wife. Happy Anniversary, Lisa. xxxxxx