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Saturday, April 19, 2014

If I'm honest, I should probably spend less time laughing at my kids, and more time saving them from accidents...


But when they're forming the kind of comedy double-act rarely seen since Laurel & Hardy, it's sometimes hard to intervene. At this rate, I could get them booked onto the Royal Variety Show.

Lisa's only question after viewing that video was to ask why I mentioned Diana Ross. Which was a relief, as I thought she might ask why I let Toby get attacked by a dog, tangled in a net and trodden on by his sister. So for the benefit of anyone with only hazy memories of the 1994 World Cup, the reason is here. It was a supreme effort, but sadly there ain't no mountain high enough that she could hit it with a ball from twelve yards.

Anyhoo, if you thought the selfie at the Oscars was good, get a load of this...


You can't see Liza Minnelli in that one either. But you can see my family living the A-lister lifestyle at East Brighton Park. It shares the first four letters of Easter, so we thought it would be a great place to go on Good Friday.

On the downside, yesterday afternoon's picnic in the park did suggest that Lisa and I might be slightly deluded. Despite having spent more than five years living with Amelie, and almost two of those with Toby, we actually thought we might get the chance to relax for a while in the spring sunshine, gently stroking each other's hair (or what's left of it) in a lovey-dovey manner, and taking a well-earned, peaceful, break while our children played quietly at a distance. Which, when you stop and think about it, is ridiculous.

In reality, we spent two hours with the kids screaming in our ears, kicking a football in our faces, and whipping our backsides with a skipping rope, whilst being chased by dogs, scared by insects, and trying to stop Toby running towards the nearest road. Both Lisa and I had taken a book to read. I don't know what we were thinking. Mainly because we couldn't hear ourselves doing it.

But despite that, we had a nice time. Lisa did her best to blend into the surroundings by wearing camouflage gear, and ended up looking like a terrorist trying to abduct small children in a bio-hazard suit...


... but they didn't let it bother them...


In fact, Amelie and Toby had a lot of fun. It's just a shame they wouldn't do it further away from us. They had the entire expanse of East Brighton Park to explore, but insisted on staying close to the picnic blanket. Which is probably what responsible parents would hope for, but wasn't what we had in mind.

On the plus side, Amelie's making it easier for us to check for nits by taking her own selfies...


... and the oily fish in her diet is working wonders on those joints...


She's a fast runner too. In an effort to get her out of her mother's hair for five minutes, I challenged her to a race up the hill to a bench overlooking the park. It was a challenge which almost killed me (and I didn't even win), but it did enable me to take this photo of the view, looking west towards the hospital...


That photo features our flat, my car, and the building where both kids were born. You can see the window where I first held my daughter, the door where I left with my son, and the Skoda where they both drive me insane.

1 comments:

Phil's Mum said...

Books to read??? What part of cloud cuckoo land were you living in? Maybe when they are teenagers......