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Monday, April 07, 2014

Well, a teensy bit more luck would have been nice, but the good thing about the Grand National is that the horses have such long odds, you only need a couple of them to be placed, and you can still make a tidy profit...

'6TBP' is the cautious gambler's market, for people with the backbone of a jellyfish, where you get paid if your horse finishes anywhere in the first six. Which is handy when you've backed Alvarado and Chance du Roy, and they come in 4th and 6th. Even after subtracting my losses from the 'win' market, I still made an overall profit of £22. Thereby justifying my decision to stay at home and watch the horse racing instead of going into work for an hour's overtime.

Lisa and I actually had a very nice weekend. In a moment of extreme madness, which possibly indicates an imminent nervous breakdown, our friend Lorraine offered to have Amelie for a sleepover on Saturday night, which gave us twenty-four peaceful and precious hours without our daughter. We still had Toby, but he can't pick the lock on the coal shed door, so he's easier to keep under control.

Being the type of person who really should be on Time Magazine's 'Man of the Year' short-list, I took it upon myself to wrangle Toby while Lisa had a bit of a rest, and by Sunday afternoon I'd successfully taught him how to load the washing machine, empty the tumble dryer and pass me the onions when I'm cooking. He did put my tinned tomatoes in the doll's house, but Rome wasn't built in a day, and he probably thought it was a greenhouse.

By the end of the twenty-four hours, Lisa looked a lot more human, the flat looked a lot more tidy, and I was able to drive us all over to Hove to pick up Amelie without being killed in an horrific pile-up. We were turning right at a junction with full right-of-way, when a car coming in the opposite direction elected to drive straight through a red light and almost ploughed right into us. I was too busy slamming on the brakes to pay much attention to the young girl at the wheel, but Lisa, who can swear like a trooper and lip-read the language of a navvy, informed me that the lady thought it was my fault. Possibly for having been born.

Anyway, we arrived at Lorraine's house in one piece, looking just as pale as she did (but for different reasons), and reclaimed our wayward daughter. Apparently she'd been no trouble, which is hard to believe, and suggests that Lorraine's a compulsive liar. We only had another hour and a half until bedtime, but it was long enough for Amelie to drive us to distraction more effectively than the girl racer who almost killed us.

The good news is that Lisa's getting a break every afternoon this week, as Amelie's booked into a 'Grease Workshop' for the Easter holidays, which sounds like a nit prevention session, but is actually a song and dance class for children. They'll be performing a show on Thursday, and whilst I'm not sure which part Amelie will be selected for, she's already very familiar with the role of Sandy. Unfortunately it's Sandy Cheeks from SpongeBob, but I'm sure a lot of the same lines apply.


Z said...

So the answer is to bet on the long odd horses to come in the top six and you're bound to win overall? Because there are always a couple of outsiders who are placed. Okay.

Z said...

Oh, and re the near accident - dear lord, how appalling. May I say, I'm really glad that you're alive, all of you darling friends.

Phil said...

Yep, as a general rule, only half the field finish (often less), so you need to identify the horses who are likely to get round, then back a few to finish in the first six at decent odds. And then hope for a bit of luck.

Phil said...

Aww, thanks Z. And I'm glad we're alive too. I haven't had a chance to spend my winnings yet.