As of this morning, my new play is off to the Royal Court and the Soho Theatre, so to celebrate I was planning a trip to the zoo to pick up women (and aardvarks). After all, Kilroy isn't on, so I have nothing to keep me at home. Devastatingly however, it's raining, and you can't stroke Somalian Fat-Tailed Sheep in a downpour. Well you can, but you'll look even more suspicious than you normally do as a 30 year old man alone at a zoo stroking sheep.

So there's nothing else for it - I'll have to hit the Ipswich charity shops.