One of my neighbours has been out there all afternoon with a giant electric corkscrew, drilling holes in the earth all along the edge of the grass at the front of my flat, in preparation for the planting of a pointless hedge. (Though I'm sure it's only pointless to the congenitally churlish). (Which would be me).

However as things stand right now, darkness is descending, work is finished for the day, and no planting has yet taken place. Meaning that as we speak, there is a row of about forty six-inch holes in the grass outside my flat, which it took my neighbour all afternoon to produce.

Now, I'm not a vindictive person, and I don't like to mess with people's heads just for my own amusement. I even have a strong sense of community spirit. But I have to say... looking at the result of all that hard work now, I am just soooooo tempted to go out there in the middle of the night and fill them all in.