I bought the Brighton Argus this afternoon to assist in my tireless search for employment. Unfortunately, despite listing 350 vacancies in today's issue, I failed to find one which appealed. The post of Administrator at the Brighton Lesbian & Gay Switchboard ("providing a service to the lesbian & gay communities since April 1975") sounded intriguing, but apparently you need "knowledge of the LGBT community and the issues that affect LGBT people", and whilst I know everything there is to know about Lesbians, Gays & Bisexuals (mainly from talking to Lisa's friend 'L'), I'm clueless when it comes to Transgender issues. Although I do own a Dame Edna video.

Hmmm... I've only just noticed the obvious rhyme there. I can feel a limerick coming on...

I'd like to administrate gays,
I'm aware of bisexual ways,
But the only transgender,
I know is Dame Edna,
So maybe I'll keep writing plays.

You wouldn't think that took two minutes to write, would you. It sounds like it took a lot less.

But anyhoo, despite all of that, my 35p was money well spent, because having waded through the situations vacant, I came to the Jobs Wanted section and found this:


Now, even if you accept that there could be a demand for an experienced, professional wheelchair pusher (with references), is the average disabled pensioner really going to want to be pushed down to the shops by someone called Hoolie the Coolie???