I received a text message from my sister this morning:
"I stroked a wallaby today and saw lots of cute kangaroos and koalas xx"
Something tells me she's arrived in Australia. She only needs to wrestle a crocodile in a billabong and she'll have done everything on the first day.
And talking of wrestling, I've spent the afternoon grappling with my Fort Custodian job application form, which is now into its second glorious week. I'm attempting to find one example from the full and rich life I've led, for each of the seven 'Essential Criteria' in the person specification. I've successfully made the point that my scant regard for Lisa, and home life in general, means I'll be able to work weekends, bank holidays and some evenings, as per criterion number 3, and five of the remaining six have been fulfilled by my experiences with quiz shows and flat pack furniture. But I'm struggling with Essential Criterion number 7:
"Ability to actively support, work and deliver services within the framework of the Council's Comprehensive Equality Policy and associated procedures."
So it's a case of either putting "Some of my best friends are black", or saying I've trained under Hoolie the Coolie. Neither seem ideal.
But I'm not worried, because I have Scope for improvement. Literally. I'm off tomorrow morning to see the Scope Jobbroker (which I'm sure should be two words, but isn't). It's a service staffed by volunteers, which is presumably why it's taken me a month to get an appointment, and aims to help the weak and disadvantaged (that's me) to find employment. Hopefully they can give me some useful advice. Or at the very least let me wheel a disabled person along the corridor so I can put something down for number 7.