I'm not saying it's been a quiet day at work, but a colleague gave me this sticker at 9am, and by five-thirty it remained the most exciting event of the day. With the possible exception of this advert on the NHS staff noticeboard:

For Sale: Table
Round, 90cm, solid white Italian marble top, black cast iron base, as used in Pizza Express restaurants, £99 ono.

After all, if you're going to nick a table from the local pizza joint, what better place to try and flog it than at work. You can probably get a porter to help you wheel it out on a trolley. Oh, and I can also lay my hands on a McDonalds napkin dispenser if anyone's interested.

But not everything today has been an unexpected delight. Some things were as predictable as tomorrow's lottery numbers. I received a text message from Big Sis this morning, to say that with just two weeks left in Australia, the inevitable has finally happened, and she's managed to kill a parrot. She hit it with the windscreen of her car at 70mph. I think she was aiming for a kangaroo at the time. But the good news is she's now just one kill away from the full house. With fourteen days to go, it's koala or bust.

As for Amelie, she's just received a written report from the Health Visitor...


It's interesting how babbling is seen as a good thing when you're not hearing it at 5am.