Ok, I take it back. Simple Eye Ointment doesn't cost 3p a box. I checked the computer at work today and it's actually just over three quid a tube. So Boots didn't fleece me for my wool fat after all.

But that aside, I've always said that you don't realise just how much work your colleagues do until one of them is off sick. And judging by how busy we were this morning, I'd say my Slovakian workmate has been running the place single-handed for the past six months. I didn't take the call myself, but having heard how rough he sounded on the phone this morning, our manager seemed quite concerned, and told me that he clearly needs a few days complete rest. So if you're reading this, mate, they're not expecting you back until February. Put your feet up and watch Jeremy Kyle. Lisa swears by it. And frequently at it.

As for the other challenges in my life, all I can say is thank God for parents. No, they haven't offered to pay for my eye ointment (there are limits to their generosity), but they have supplied me with something almost as valuable: a replacement car. Yes, having moved into their retirement bungalow last Tuesday, they've agreed to give up my Mum's Skoda for the good of the NHS.

Yesterday was spent transferring ownership, sorting out insurance, and arranging for my old car to be towed to the nearest wrecker's yard. They're coming to get it tomorrow, so I spent yesterday afternoon removing the new stereo I'd just paid good money to have installed, and carrying out one final search for Lisa's lost engagement ring. I may not have found it, but I did discover a 1p piece under the driver's seat, so it wasn't a complete waste of time. Another ninety-nine and I can buy a lottery ticket.

As for today, I had the afternoon off work to take Lisa to the dentist. Her mouth is apparently too full of wisdom, so she had to have some removed before she got too long in the tooth. I was supposed to be looking after her, both before and after the procedure, but I made an informed medical diagnosis and decided she'd be fine if I drove over to Hove instead. So I headed for the council parking department and got a resident's permit for my new car. My Mum's coming back in the morning to read the last rites to my old one, and make sure it gets a decent send-off. Frankly, without my parents, that car wouldn't have been the only one suffering a breakdown this weekend. Thanks, Mum & Dad. xxx