Pages

Subscribe: Subscribe to me on YouTube

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Something about that face says "I'm at Grandma & Grandad's"...

Is that a snooker ball?She never looks that happy at home. And frankly, neither do we.

But the good news is that nothing boosts the happiness levels of the Gardner family like a weekend spent apart, and as luck would have it, my parents were willing to take Amelie off our hands on Friday for a couple of days. We've spent the past 48 hours moving from distress to de-stress. Mostly by catching up on sleep.

Admittedly, the feeling of contentment was threatened briefly this afternoon by my decision to try an experimental recipe for Cheesy Nut Roast, which ended up taking three hours (about two and a half longer than expected), and resulted in the kitchen looking like a scene from Saving Private Ryan. The resulting stodge is currently in the oven, so I'm writing this now, as I have a strong suspicion that once I've tasted the thing, I won't be able to type through my tears of disappointment.

But that aside, it's just nice not to have to watch CBeebies for eleven hours straight.

Of course, I'm not the only one who's spent time in the kitchen...

She's washed her hands of us.
... but I never quite achieved that level of cheerfulness. Possibly because our kitchen doesn't feature tubs of Flake ice cream.

Anyhoo, the good news is that we've used our free time productively. Obviously we could have taken the opportunity to celebrate our recent marriage by going away on a mini honeymoon to a romantic location, but in the end we decided that our weekend would be much better spent working out how we can get Amelie into the decent Catholic school around the corner without anyone finding out we're heathens.

Personally I felt that with our daughter only three weeks past her second birthday, it was a little early to be worrying about such things, but as Lisa pointed out, if we're going to have to spend two years attending church and bribing a priest, we need to start sooner rather than later.

So I've looked up the school admissions policy online. Basically they have ten categories of children, ranked according to the priority they're given by the school, where 1 is "Baptised Catholic children in the care of the local authority" and 10 is essentially devil-worshippers. If we're honest, Lisa and I fall into category 9. With a bit of luck, and a word to a good friend, we could probably move up one place to number 8. But our chances of hitting the top five look slim. It makes me wish we'd turned out to see the Pope last month.

Interestingly, however, the school website provides the admission figures for the 2009/10 school year, and whilst almost 50% of the new reception intake fell into category 2, the school didn't have a single applicant in category 1. So the way forward looks clear. We need to get Amelie baptised, and then put into care. If you're reading this, Mum, we don't want her back. Get her to Rome and start feeding her wafers.

4 comments:

Lisa said...

Preferably with the Flake ice cream in the middle.

Phil's Mum said...

Well, her cousin has got into a Catholic school without any of that palaver - just by looking bright, I think.  So I'm sure Am can make it.

Dave said...

That hymn book is going to come in handy now - once she can sing the entire contents, she'll sail the entry exam.

Anonymous said...

porn movie, porn, rough sex, hard anal, brutal rape