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Tuesday, May 01, 2012

It's been quite a night in the Gardner household, and as someone who needs his beauty sleep, I must be pig-ugly this morning.

At 6pm yesterday evening, Amelie, who was sitting on the sofa with the laptop, surfing the internet for free games to download, suddenly complained of a sore throat. I asked her if it was down to her constant talking, to which she replied "Yes, I think it is", and we left it at that. Sadly, however, that wasn't the full story. By the time she went to bed, she was sniffing like a drug addict, and clearly going down with a cold.

Half an hour after Lisa and I went to sleep, we were woken up by Amelie crying, coughing, spluttering and generally dying at a high volume, so we both got up to attend to her. While Lisa was fetching her some Calpol, I gave her a cuddle and asked where she'd caught such a nasty cold. She said "I think it was when I was looking for other fun games", so I told her it was probably a computer virus. Humour which was entirely wasted on a three-year-old at 11:30pm. On the plus side, I need to encourage that negative association. If I can convince her that computer games make her ill, I might actually get my laptop back.

Being both ill and distraught, Amelie outbid me for a place in the double bed, so while she and Lisa snuggled down together, I made my way into the living room, where I not only made my bed, but lay in it. I went back to sleep pretty quickly, but within half an hour was awake again with bad stomach pains. I wasn't sure if I'd picked up Amelie's germs, or if it was food poisoning from the out-of-date carrot & swede mash I'd had with my dinner. To be honest, I'd also eaten an entire punnet of grapes whilst watching Britain's Got Talent on Virgin Catch-up, so there were a number of possible explanations. But whatever the cause, I slept only fitfully for the next two or three hours, waking up frequently with terrible stomach ache, and sucking Bisodol tablets in a state of semi-wakefulness.

I probably dropped off fully at about half-three or four, which would have given me a few precious hours of sleep before the alarm went off. If I hadn't been woken up at 4:30am by a cat on my head. I came-to in the early hours of the morning with an awareness that a cat was walking across my pillow and down the side of my inflatable bed, before stomping on my feet and jumping off. I ignored it the first time, but when it happened again five minutes later, I was fully awake and annoyed. I refused to open my eyes, however, until the third trip across my pillow, when I was jolted awake by a loud squeak in my ear.

I opened my eyes to see Shimmy climbing across my bed with a kitten in her mouth. I turned on the floor lamp by my head, and looked across at the nursery under the table. It was empty. Apart from a toy mouse. Shimmy then emerged from Amelie's princess tent behind the TV with a satisfied look on her face.

So I think my kitten photography days are over. I don't know if it's the result of too many photos, too many visitors, or just a reluctance to share her bed with toy vermin, but Shimmy has moved all three kittens to the most inaccessible corner of the flat: inside a pink canvas tent behind the TV unit. I had a long chat with her when she emerged, and she seems quite pleased with herself, but she's less than forthcoming with an explanation.

Judging by her behaviour though, I think she just wants to go out and have a good time without the kids slowing her down. Ever since she rehomed her kittens, she's been bouncing around the flat and chasing Chloe like the Shimmy of old. She's essentially a teenage Mum who wants to go out partying.

Needless to say, after the shock of having three kittens hauled across my face in the early hours, I never did go back to sleep. Things have quietened down now though, and Shimmy's settled peacefully behind the TV with her babies. For the time being at least. She's got ninety minutes until Am puts it on at full volume and starts dancing to Boogie Beebies.


A Passer-by said...

A blog post at 6.41am?!!  You poor thing!!

Phil's Mum said...

At least Shimmy's proved she knows the difference between her kittens and a toy mouse! Perhaps, now they have their eyes open, she thinks they should be kept where they can't see what goes on in your flat!  Do you think your stomach pains were a cat allergy?  And you could try telling Amelie her sore throat is the same thing.  Does it mean she has had to miss nursery today?

Jon the Bassist said...

You on your inflatable bed and Shimmy and co bedding down under canvas with a big TV. I believe this is the definition of Glamping.