If you're looking for a simple and effective weight loss regime for the new year, then I can highly recommend the flu. I've been ill for seven days now, and I've lost more than half a stone in weight. Admittedly I'd probably put on that much over the course of the festive season, but as Lisa said to me this morning, "You do look horribly gaunt". Which is something I've never achieved with Weight Watchers.

Surprisingly for someone with chronic prostatitis, osteoarthritis and plantar fasciitis, I've actually never taken more than two consecutive days off work. Not just in this job, but ever. Although to be honest, I haven't been employed much. Even when I was this ill with a stomach bug in September 2010...


... I still rose again on the third day and went back to work. I'm a lot like Jesus. But with shorter hair.

So having been off sick since Tuesday, I've already doubled my longest absence from work, and the tragedy is that it may not be over yet. I'd convinced myself on Friday evening that I was definitely feeling a bit better, and with two more days to recover, I'd be back at work on Monday. But despite sleeping well that night, I woke up yesterday morning feeling worse again. Not only was (and is) my throat more sore, but my head and neck are as achey as they were last Tuesday. When I wash my hair (well, flannel my head) in the shower, I realise how tender that whole area is, and immediately reach for the painkillers.

I haven't left the flat since I returned home on Thursday, but there's a good chance I'll be going out tomorrow. Barring a miraculous improvement today, I'll be phoning the doctor in the morning and heading down to the surgery. Unless it snows, of course.

In the meantime, I've missed another milestone in Amelie's social life. She went to a birthday party yesterday, thrown by the sheep standing next to her in this photo. At least we thought it was a sheep at the time. Until we got the party invitation, which stated that everyone should dress as something beginning with 'P'. At which point we decided it was a polar bear and they wanted to reuse the outfit.

Anyhoo, Amelie went as a Princess and Lisa went as a Parent. It was held at a restaurant in Hove, and was due to last for two and a half hours, so we assumed that Lisa could just drop her off and come home. That turned out not to be the case. She texted me from the venue to say that she was expected to stay for the whole party. I replied, pointing out that she wasn't dressed as something beginning with 'P'. To which she responded that she was looking quite Pissed off.

But fortunately Amelie had a good time. I received another text message ten minutes later to say that she was already up on stage, spinning plates, and was the first one to start dancing. Not only is she confident, however, she's also very enterprising. She turned to Lisa this week and said "Mummy, will you buy me a wishing well?". When Lisa asked her why, she said "Because I want to wish for a pony". She's clearly worked out that we'll never buy her one, so she's looking at other alternatives.