As a general rule, the person I'm most likely to find face-down on the living room floor in a dressing gown, is Lisa. She has all the spatial awareness of a daddy longlegs, and can hit the deck at any time, day or night. She's even been known to fall over whilst singing 'I'm Still Standing' by Elton John, and having known her for ten years, I could give the author of 'How to Pick Up Girls' a run for his money. Although I know nothing about dating.

As of today, however, there's a new kid in town...

That's Toby, flaked out on the floor by mid-morning. Which is how I feel, most days.

Sadly, the boy's not well. When Lisa went into the children's bedroom yesterday morning, she found Toby's cot under a thin layer of vomit, and Toby on top of that. We assumed he'd gone down with the same sickness bug that Amelie had last Wednesday, but whereas she was fine within twenty-four hours, Toby's still a bit under the weather. Which in this case is windy and unsettled.

He was off his food all weekend, which is not like him at all, but for the most part, he seemed ok. I took him to the nearest CeX store yesterday afternoon (which I refer to as 'the sex shop', in an attempt to shock Lisa) as I wanted to buy some cheap Wii games to entertain Amelie and her friend after school. I ended up buying De Blob for two quid, but having played it for ten minutes last night, I've decided it's too good for her, and plan to keep it for myself. She can stick with Raving Rabbids. Which, apparently, cures dyslexia.

Anyhoo, Toby was quite happy to nibble on a cereal bar in a second-hand games shop, but having already refused his lunch, he then refused his tea, and went to bed on a few grapes and a bottle of milk. Which he then threw up in his cot. Lisa moved him to the travel cot in our bedroom halfway through the dark and stormy night, but by morning he'd been sick in there too.

So we're doing quite a lot of laundry, and keeping a close eye on him. While he keeps a close eye on the carpet. He's prone to falling asleep mid-crawl, so it's only a matter of time before Lisa trips over him, and I'm nursing two members of the family.