That's the UK's entry for next year. I'm pitching it as Liberace meets Les Dawson. They'll love it in Azerbaijan.
Anyhoo, as surprising as it might sound, tomorrow is Big Sis's birthday. I know, another year has flown by and her teeth are falling out fast, but while she can still raise a smile without looking like Shane MacGowan, we thought we'd head over to St Leonards yesterday to pose for a few photos with her...
Oh, hang on, that's not her, that's my Mum. Although it's getting increasingly hard to tell them apart. And not just because my Mum's had botox.
I'm actually slightly concerned that if I dress any darker, I'll start to resemble the bloke in the triangular warning sign, and I'll never get small children to accept my sweets in public, but if the worst comes to the worst, I suppose I can always find another hobby.
Anyhoo, all of that aside, here's my sister...
Amelie's checking the warning sign in the background and resolving never to speak to her aunt in a playground again. I clearly needn't have worried about my outfit. Sis came dressed for an outdoor funeral.
So that's the birthday girl in the centre. The chap standing next to her, who made the mistake of thinking that it might not be freezing on the south coast in May, is her boyfriend. I forget his name...
But it'll probably come back to me at some point.
Sis and her beau arrived in Sussex on Friday to celebrate her birthday with a couple of pensioners, so as old people ourselves, Lisa and I decided to join them for the day yesterday, in the hope of getting some free food and childcare. It also gave us the chance to document the progress of my mother's rhododendrons.
We have 'Young and Virile' in May 2009...
'Tired and Fat' in August 2012...
And 'Old and Grey' yesterday...
I think Lisa looks nice in them all, but I'm not so much wise as wizened.
Fortunately my kids still look fresh-faced...
And they can do modern hand gestures...
Toby's so street. Albeit on the grass, surrounded by daisies.
Anyhoo, the highlight of yesterday for me was when I warned Lisa to be careful on the slippery steps in my parents' garden, and then watched as she tumbled down them five seconds later, taking the plastic handrail with her, hitting a squirrel in the nuts, and injuring her back. I haven't laughed so much in years. But I did so from a position of the utmost sympathy and concern. Whilst saying 'I told you so', and regretting not having filmed it.
That aside, it was just nice to see my sister...
We spent the afternoon in TK Maxx and the local park, and bookended it all with food at my parents' house. Big Sis's birthday presents consisted of the world's most expensive hair straighteners, plus a cheap bag she hadn't asked for. I won't say which of those came from us.
By the end of the day, we all looked like this...
... and Toby was flicking us the V's...
... but despite that, we were all up for a bit of Eurovision, so having stayed late to watch the first half, I eventually drove my family home two hours after the kids' bedtime, whilst listening to the rest on the radio. It prompted Amelie to ask me if I'll enter the contest myself next year, so I confidently said that I would. I've got twelve months to grow a decent beard.
1 comments:
.......and lose even more weight, and somehow learn to sing really high.
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