Love is... hugging a sibling at the play park.

In reality, of course, he's got his hands around her neck, and she's making him walk the plank, but it looks like a touching scene of love.

Anyhoo, that was Sunday afternoon on the army assault course at Le Marchant Barracks in Devizes. We'd spent lunchtime feeding our faces in front of a badly painted wall at Pizza Express...

... so we needed to work off a few calories, and as luck would have it, the nearby park has some outdoor exercise equipment. I took on a key role akin to that of Burgess Meredith in the first three Rocky films, and sacrificed my own fitness in order to bark orders at everyone else. And take embarrassing photos. None of which I have permission to publish.

Amelie, who's obviously no stranger to extreme physical training, was quite sweet, helping Toby around the assault course...

... although when she tried to drag him up the eight-foot cargo net, I decided to intervene. By the end of the afternoon she was dropping him on his face in the mud, and trampling across his back, which is clearly the kind of character-building experience that will not only make a man of him, but turn him into a serial killer.

Fortunately, our Bank Holiday Monday was a bit more laid back. We headed out to lunch at The Rowdey Cow, which is not so much a spelling mistake as a farm cafe in the village of Rowde. They sell sixteen flavours of ice cream, made with milk from their own cows, which was our main reason for attending and ensured that we didn't want to leave, but as it transpired, they also make decent lunches...

That's what £7.95 buys you in Wiltshire. Half a herd, a ton of bubble & squeak, and a Yorkshire Pudding the size of a cowpat. My pot of tea made four cups. It was a miracle I still had room for three flavours of ice cream.

So I stuffed myself silly while the ladies indulged in some serious conversation...

... before heading outside to pose for some photos with a couple of leggy birds...

That ruffled a few feathers. But while I was being hen-pecked by a big-breasted female, Big Sis was swinging with my daughter...

So after a quick game of 'Duck Duck Goose', we headed back home via the world's narrowest road, in an effort to test the collision sensors on Big Sis's new Mercedes. That left us just enough time for Toby to scream his way around Morrisons, Amelie to get some bad news about chicken pox, and Lisa to be left without food. But I'll have more on the ill health (and manners) of my family tomorrow...