I've actually been living here since Wednesday...
Yes, that's right, I've left Lisa for someone with a nicer flat. Admittedly, the painting of a vagina above the bed makes Rorschach look subtle, and the carpet's modelled on a zebra crossing, but there are six of my five-a-day on the coffee table and the view looks like this...
That's Birmingham city centre (or centre city, depending on the dyslexic capabilities of your sign writer). I've shacked up with White Dee.
In reality, of course, I'd be a fool to leave Lisa. She's the only member of this family that can iron a shirt. I am, however, prepared to abandon her and the kids for three days in order to attend the best national conference this side of Vanarama. Although I'm obliged to say that, as I was one of the organisers. And one of the speakers. And I chaired one of the sessions. And presented a poster. To be honest, by the time I'd finished running around with a microphone, cueing up the Powerpoints, judging the photo competition and hunting for lost certificates, I barely had time to stuff my face with free food. I need to make that more of a priority.
Attendance was marginally better than this picture suggests...
... and I like to think the entire conference was a roaring success. Apart from my talk, obviously, which almost resulted in a fight.
I spent a lot of time with people that I already knew were lovely, and they introduced me to quite a few more, so all in all, it was an excellent few days. I was even given a box of Ferrero Rocher, which was perfect timing as it's our wedding anniversary on Tuesday and it'll save me having to buy Lisa a present.
I returned home to the news that Amelie's received a top award for her first homework of Year 1, while Lisa has had a letter from the Sussex Eye Hospital accusing her of being blepharospastic. Which means she's a blinking nuisance. It's the opposite of eye-opening news, and came as no surprise whatsoever. They're going to try another gonioscopy in three months time, with accompanying OCT. I'll be advising my colleagues to phone in sick that day.
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