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Tuesday, September 09, 2014

You know what it's like. You're sitting at work on a Tuesday afternoon, proof-reading an advance copy of a national eye journal, and wondering why they've put a photo of you on page 4 instead of the article you spent half of Saturday morning writing for them, when all of a sudden, and without any warning whatsoever, you discover that you're at major risk of developing intraoperative floppy iris syndrome.

Yes, intraoperative floppy iris syndrome.

Or, as I prefer to put it, INTRAOPERATIVE FLOPPY IRIS SYNDROME???!

No, seriously. I was reading a how-to guide to cataract surgery, and wondering if I could do it with a stanley knife and a crochet hook, when I came across these words:

"During the author's time at University College Hospital, London, in the period 2012-14, the use of alpha 1 antagonists for urinary outflow symptoms reached virtually 50% in males undergoing cataract surgery. Intraoperative floppy iris syndrome (IFIS) will be an unpredictable risk in patients taking these drugs, especially tamsulosin."

Well, by happy coincidence, I'll be celebrating my first five years on tamsulosin next week. So I'm clearly on the verge of a major ocular prolapse. But only if I have my cataracts done. Apparently IFIS was only discovered in 2005, but let's face it, if anyone's iris is going to start flip-flopping about on the operating table and billowing like a tent in a hurricane, it's mine. And it's too late to prevent the floppiness by stopping the tamsulosin, as the damage has already been done.

I think it's time for the anti-UV sunglasses and a big jar of honey.

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