I do love a good conspiracy theory, and I've always liked the 9/11 no-Boeing-ever-hit-the-Pentagon one, ever since I first heard it three and a half years ago. But I came across a particularly good flash presentation yesterday evening, which frankly should win the Oscar for best short film. I've watched it five times already. Though mainly because I'm a slow reader, and I keep missing the captions before they disappear. But anyway, go to this little website and click one of the union jacks. It's well worth the 3MB download. I haven't been so excited since I discovered that Tony Blair's the son of JFK.

Anyhoo, being far too trusting for my own good, I'm off to Norfolk. Alone. And without the aid of a safety net. If you never hear from me again, send the police here and here, and if they claim I accidentally slipped and fell into the sea, don't believe a word of it. Oh, and if someone could look after my cat, that would be great. The key's under the mat.

Unfortunately I can't tell you where the mat is.