Well I know it's a day early, but I do like to get in first before all the other nationally recognised tipsters, and besides, I drove within ten yards of a swan on Tuesday, so I'll probably be dead by this time tomorrow. So with that very much in mind, I've put in the hours of tireless research while I still can, and hereby present my cast-iron, non-losing, guaranteed-not-to-fall-at-the-first selections for tomorrow's Grand National.

This year's race features two of the shortest priced favourites we've had for years, and you'd have to be a fool to leave either of them off your shortlist. Which is handy. So after studying the form at great length, I can now reveal that the winner of the 2006 John Smith's Grand National will be...

Silver Birch at 25-1. Although personally I've backed him at 50-1. I'm taking a bit of a chance here, because he's failed to finish his last two races, but if (and that 'if' really ought to be in bold and italics) you ignore that, then he's got the form to win this by a country mile.

Second will be Cornish Rebel at 20-1. If (there's that word again) he can lug around 11st 9lb (which is a stone more than Lisa on a bad day), he should be there at the finish.

He'll be closely followed by Direct Access at 25-1. Thirteen of the last fifteen Grand National winners have had a run in the month leading up to the race. Direct Access hasn't run since November. But am I worried? Well...

Fourth will be Le Duc at 40-1. He's run five times at Aintree, and finished 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and nowhere. So why he's 40-1, I don't know. Possibly because he's French.

And finally, if you want a horse with a big price (and little chance) then you need to be on Risk Accessor at 80-1. Although you can currently get odds of 200-1 on Betfair, which was enough to tempt me into parting with £2. It may not be likely, but it is possible.

Oh, and if Innox wins, can I just point out that I tipped him last year, and that counts.