I had to take Lisa to the dentist yesterday for a filling. I thought it best to go with her in case she had another allergic reaction and swelled up like a Zeppelin, but naturally I couldn't park within half a mile of Hove, so I was forced to loiter in an illegal bay while Lisa was drilled and filled. Operation over, she informed me that the dentist had told her not to eat for the next two hours - a bit of a blow as she hadn't had lunch at that point. As she herself put it, "What a liberty". I think she's turning into Catherine Tate's granny. She already has the looks.

So I drove her home looking like she'd suffered a stroke, only to find that thanks to the new parking restrictions in Eastern Road, I couldn't park in my road, the next road, or the road after that. By the time I'd found a space I was technically in another county. But at least we got some exercise walking from the car to my flat.

A couple of hours later and we headed to Asda for food. Sadly there was no sign of David Van Day this time (he probably goes to Lidl now the Asda car park is pay & display) but we successfully loaded up on healthy eating options like new Cadburys Melts and Roast Ox flavour crisps. We then returned to my flat where, after driving around the block three times, and cunningly trying a whole new set of side streets, we found we still couldn't park and ended up back where we started. But hey, if you're looking for a cardio-vascular workout, you can do worse than parking up a steep hill five minutes walk from your flat with a boot full of heavy shopping.

Having worked up an appetite, we then settled down to enjoy an Asda Spicy Pepperoni Pasta Bake. Here are the cooking instructions on the back...


Just one question: seeing as you have to remove the film lid before cooking, why are they so sure you'll encounter hot steam when you take it off?