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Friday, October 27, 2006

McPhilMmm... root beer.

Well ok, it's a diet coke. McDonalds don't seem to sell root beer in the UK any more. Probably because no one east of Delaware knows what it is. But I remember always wanting it as a child. More for the word 'beer' than the word 'root'. Naturally my parents always said no, and got me a diet coke. Much like the girl in McDonalds this morning.

But this is me at the Western Road branch in Brighton today, enjoying an overpriced beverage, whilst pondering whether anyone ever buys a salad, whether any parent has ever managed to substitute their kid's fries with carrot sticks without prompting the kind of tantrum that would break Supernanny's naughty step, and of course why they always refuse to cook me a quarterpounder before 10:30am. I don't get it - they'll happily fry me a bit of sausage to go in a muffin, but burgers are apparently out. Who says you can have a pig for breakfast, but not a cow, that's what I'd like to know. Of course, I haven't had a pig for breakfast since I invited Lisa round for scrambled eggs, but that's another story. And an untrue one, obviously. As if I'd invite Lisa round.

Anyhoo, as I left the Brighton McDonalds (burgerless, and pining for beef) I was accosted by a couple of burly builder types who asked me if I knew of anywhere nearby that does "a fry-up". Clearly McDonalds salads didn't appeal. I was tempted to suggest a fruit bag and a yoghurt from the Pound Saver menu, but I didn't want to get beaten up, and didn't want their cholesterol on my hands either, so I lied and said no.

But anyway, for sharing those timely and relevant thoughts, I'm aiming to be paid $10. As can anyone (within reason) fingering the widget below. Naturally I don't quite understand how it works, but much like the voting system on 'Strictly Come Dancing', I'm just happy to believe that it does.

Anyhoo, as should be obvious by now, Lisa and I are back in Brighton, having driven home through the driving rain on Wednesday night. I returned to a sad lack of answerphone messages, plus 76 e-mails. 72 of which were spam. And 2 of which were identical, as my sister can't use a computer. She has, however, sent me three postcards, including one from the Pentagon, so I can't complain.

Last night Lisa and I held our first ever dinner party. There were four of us, with three trays, two rooms and no table, so it went well. We invited Lisa's sister, plus Turkish delight 'S', who's too chicken to go back to Turkey, and is still hanging about the UK waiting for airfares to go down. Lisa made Italian Beef Casserole from a Gary Rhodes recipe (whatever happened to him?), which went down a storm and produced no leftovers. Which is just as well, as it's beef, so we couldn't have had it for breakfast.

Entertainment consisted of my review of 'The History Boys', a show & tell session with my new debit card (which has now arrived, and was well worth the £5 it cost to have numbers pressed into Lisa's face), and the viewing of a scrotum wax on Channel 5. So needless to say it was a success.

As for this morning, I walked into town, took my photo next to a giant sandwich, then crossed the road to Gamestation where I bought Painkiller and Max Payne 2 - £4.99 the pair. Which is about $10. Hurrah for McDonalds.