The trouble with family photos is that by the time you've had eight attempts at getting the composition right...

... everyone throws in the towel.

But still, at least the sun was out for photo number nine. We'd been there so long, it had changed seasons.

Anyhoo, Big Sis is now forty years old and one week, and is currently rocketing towards fifty like a runaway train with no brakes, so having enjoyed a delicate hors d'oeuvre of a party last Saturday, it was time for the all-you-can-eat blow-out yesterday. And if you think Devizes is the town that never sleeps, you should try St Leonards. It's a miracle Ibiza ever gets a look in.

We all met at my parents' house yesterday lunchtime. Well, I say 'all'. At the allotted meeting time, my brother and his family were stuck behind a tow-truck on the road to Eastbourne. They hadn't broken down (although family relationships were close), but they had missed their turning off the M25 and ended up in a traffic jam they should never have encountered. Fortunately, however, the queue wasn't permanent, and they were soon on the move again. Slowly, behind a vehicle on tow.

So while the rest of us were ordering food, they were ordering coffee at Sainsburys in Tunbridge Wells, just so they could use the toilets. They eventually arrived three hours late, shortly before they were due to leave.

Fortunately, all was not lost (although they had been for a couple of hours), and they were here in plenty of time to see Big Sis trying to set her hair on fire...

As you can see, we had everything a good party needs: takeaway food, condiments, strawberries, cake and a big tube of UHU. It's the glue that holds this family together.

Having eaten enough food to end world hunger, and danced the afternoon away to the sound of S Club 7 (that was mainly Amelie, to be fair), we all hit the town for a trip to TK Maxx. Lisa bought herself a party dress (which seemed a bit late in the day to me), Amelie got some goggles, and I bought a big tub of catnip. My brother asked if he could have some for their three-legged moggy, so I decanted a few spoonfuls into a small plastic bag, and tied it up for him before they left.

I then waved them off at the door, and wished them a much better journey home, with the small bundle of dried herbs in their glove box. Let's hope they weren't stopped by the police.