Look at Amelie holding that big fat lemon...

What's less obvious though, is the giant fruit in her right arm. That's a Honey Pomelo. No, really.

One of the advantages of working in the same department as the hospital's graphic design team is that I have access to highly trained professionals with clever software, who can edit PDF documents and turn them into printable full-colour magazines in return for nothing more than a simple smile, a kind word and a bit of blackmail. As a result, I'm now in possession of a hard copy of my recent article, which I can casually leave on the coffee table when visitors come round. Obviously I'll have to buy a coffee table first, but that's a minor expense compared with the rewards of making myself look good in front of guests.

As it happens though, a copy of Visibility wasn't the only freebie I got my hands on yesterday. Amelie's current obsession is "going out in the dark", so I think she's heading towards a career as a burglar, but in the meantime I do my best to satisfy her demands by taking her for a walk after work. It's a lot like owning a dog.

On Tuesday night we walked to Lidl, and once there, Amelie picked up what I thought at first was a melon, and asked me what it was. I checked the sign, and discovered it to be a Honey Pomelo. Which didn't really help. Amelie felt we should buy one on the off chance that it might taste nice, but as a general rule I like to avoid food I've never heard of, so I flatly refused.

Having got home, however, I looked it up on the internet, and discovered that it's a fruit with its own website. Honey Pomelos are actually the world's largest citrus fruit, taste a bit like a sweet grapefruit, and in common with a lot of brands I've never heard of, are made in China. HoneyPomelo.com, a website which I'm sensing wasn't written by a native English speaker, says this:

"Honey Pomelo not only rich in vitamin C, carotene, lower heat, but also have Adjuvant treatment for diabetes, hypertension, asthma and other diseases, which was very popular in markets and our consumers love it deeply."

It's a cure for diabetes!!! And they're selling it in Lidl! No wonder consumers love it deeply.

So with the revelation that I could treat all my patients and lower heat (?) with just a simple piece of fruit, Amelie and I headed back down to Lidl last night and bought one. They're only £1.49 and the size of a football, so as an adjuvant treatment for diabetes, we felt fully justified in buying some chocolate as well. By the time we got to the checkout, we had four items, and got change out of a fiver.

So here it is...

That's actually our largest dinner plate it's sitting on. It's like a grapefruit on steroids. I started self-medicating immediately, and although not as juicy as an orange, it's much sweeter than a grapefruit, and perfectly edible. It tasted sweeter still when I looked at my receipt. It seems the girl on the till at Lidl failed to scan my Honey Pomelo correctly, and it didn't come up on the bill. It's like a free box of Metformin. I could take a fruit salad into work tomorrow and save the NHS a fortune.