Just look at that pair of troublesome kids...

They're always bleating about something, and if you don't get them food when they want it, they're liable to headbutt you in the stomach. I'm all in favour of locking them up.

But goats aside, these parents look pretty happy...

It's a look which says "We're seven miles from our children, and we're in no hurry to get back". That was me and Lisa down The Well at Bulkington on Thursday evening, celebrating our anniversary and reflecting on which half of our decade together was better: the first half without children, or the second, exhausting, sleep-deprived and stress-filled half with them. Oddly, we decided on the latter. Although we always feel like that when they're not there.

While Lisa and I were out enjoying ourselves, Big Sis was busy texting us photos such as this one, to prove how well the babysitting was going, but as I said to Lisa at the time, until we get at least one confirmed death, we're not leaving the restaurant. And even then, there's no need for us both to go back.

We'd actually had a very nice day, which surprisingly is possible in Wiltshire. It might not be much more than a collection of fields, but some of those fields contain animals, and when you've got two small children, that's pretty much all you need for a good time. Admittedly, the weather wasn't always great, but anyone who says it's not possible to play golf underwater is sadly mistaken...

I told Amelie that was called Crazy Golf, and having attempted to hit the ball through a lake, she turned to me and said "Daddy, this is crazy". We gave up shortly afterwards.

But whilst some parts of the Hope Nature Centre required the use of stilts to avoid getting your feet wet, we mostly managed to avoid the deep mud and flooding, and get up close to some animals. Amelie met her match in the cuteness stakes when she stroked a two-week-old rabbit...

... and I proved that even whilst on holiday, I'm always thinking about work...


I've taught my daughter a lot about infection control too.

Bearing in mind that Toby's been known to pass out with fear at the mere sight of a domestic cat, I was quite impressed by the confidence he showed with the animals. I don't know if it was watching Amelie which helped him, but after a slightly cautious start, he was right in there, feeding goats, poking rodents, and trying to ride a little pony...

He was definitely the mane man. In fact, I was proud of them both. We might have our ups and downs...

... (mostly on trampolines)... but as a family, we're remarkably happy, and I love those three Gardners to bits. It's been the best decade of my life. Although I've aged about twenty years.