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Sunday, March 07, 2004

I've had my website analysed by The Gematriculator. No really, I have. To quote their blurb:

"The Gematriculator is a service that uses the infallible methods of Gematria developed by Mr. Ivan Panin to determine how good or evil a web site or a text passage is."

Oh yes, not only is it infallible, but it was developed specifically to detect evil websites.

"Basically, Gematria is searching for different patterns through the text, such as the amount of words beginning with a vowel. If the amount of these matches is divisible by a certain number, such as 7 (which is said to be God's number), there is an incontestable argument that the Spirit of God is ever present in the text. Another important aspect in gematria are the numerical values of letters: A=1, B=2 ... I=9, J=10, K=20 and so on. The Gematriculator uses the Finnish alphabet, in which Y is
a vowel."

I think we're all more inclined to use the Finnish alphabet if at all possible, aren't we? Anyhoo, the Gematriculator has spoken, and here are its findings...

This site is certified 71% GOOD by the Gematriculator

Fantastic. My writing is less than one third evil. And what's more, the phrase "the hen is meatier than the swordfish", which appears nowhere else on the world wide web (due to the fact that I'm the only person warped enough to come up with it), achieves a rating of 99% good! Yes people, my personal catchphrase is bordering on the holy.