It's National Doodle Day! Hurrah! I appreciate fine art, so I've just visited the National Doodle Day website and clicked on 'Doodle Meanings', which told me that "Doodles can't always tell us anything definite about their creators, but analysing them can be lots of fun!". And a complete waste of time, clearly. But having informed us that doodle analysis is pointless, they launch straight into it with the news that "Aeroplanes should be viewed as a phallic symbol". So presumably teenage boys who draw cartoon willies all want to be pilots.

Anyway, they've been auctioning off celebrity doodles on Ebay since 10am, and as things currently stand, there are no bids on John Hurt, David Hare, Kenneth Branagh or Frederick Forsyth, but Dom, from 'Dick & Dom in Da Bungalow', is already up to £9. Which says something about the average Ebay user. Personally I'm more interested in Brian Cant.

But that aside, I'm currently trapped in my living room by a wall of cardboard boxes. I knew it was a mistake to pack up stuff and leave it in the hall. I can't get to the front door to see if my Kleeneze catalogue has arrived. But on that subject, I have had a run-in with Brian Shepherd, Kleeneze salesman extraordinaire, who, having said he'd come for his catalogue on Wednesday evening, sneakily turned up yesterday afternoon instead, catching me unawares and causing me to inadvertantly answer the door. I told him I'd never received a catalogue, and he said "Oh... I wonder what happened to that one then..." in a tone of voice which said "Yeah right, we both know you chucked it in the bin". My name will be mud at Kleeneze headquarters. I just pray Betterware don't get wind of this.