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Friday, March 24, 2006

Things I'll Miss About Shotley Gate When I Move to Brighton, #2:
(It hasn't turned out to be a very long list so far).

Dragging myself out of my sick bed in the morning, and going for a kill-or-cure stagger down the nearest footpath, only to encounter a field full of Mad March Hares for the first time in my life. Mind you, I am ill, so I could have been hallucinating.

But assuming I wasn't, there were a good 12 or 14 hares who were all so mad for it (possibly even as mad as hatters), chasing each other around at full speed, jumping on top of each other, and rolling one other down the hill, that at one point they nearly collided with me.

By which I mean they came within 20 yards of where I was standing. But it seemed like a close encounter at the time.

The Holbrook HoresAnyhoo, naturally I didn't bother taking any photos of this wonder of nature, but I did manage to snap this shot of a road sign. It was erected a couple of years ago after some idiot (possibly a woman, I don't know) drove their car into a tractor, but interestingly it's now been amended by some helpful local, who's added the words...

Holbrook Hores 7 Miles ↑

... which is an outrageous thing to say. I'm sure it's only six miles to Holbrook.

Of course, when they say 'Hores', they could mean 'Horse', or even 'Hares' (which would clearly make more sense) but having already encountered the work of the Shotley Hoes some months ago, I think perhaps not.

Obviously I'm not in a position to comment of the whoring qualities of local women. And besides, they all have a right to live their lives in any way they see fit. I'm just disappointed none of them seem able to spell.