Seeing as I'm still hideously diseased, I've just been looking up health-related information on the web in the hope of finding out how long I've got to live, and as usual, I got distracted and ended up clicking on an advert instead. Which led me to the RealAge Test ("as seen on Oprah", apparently).

My actual age is 32.7, but having answered all the questions (fairly) truthfully, the website (who don't even know how ill I am right now), told me that the real age of my body is 34.9. Which is good, because it means I'm still younger than Lisa.

But far better than that, was one of the questions I was asked along the way. This is what's known as a sign of the times, and frankly I'd frame it if I could...

"Is your biological father alive? (Enter your best guess if you're not sure)."

How marvellous is that.