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Monday, May 22, 2006

The good thing about an extended stay at Lisa's is that I get to visit "the best pub in Brighton" two days running. And having enjoyed a lunchtime Diet Coke there on both Thursday and Friday, I'm pleased to report that they're maintaining their consistently high standards. On top of not stocking Bacardi, getting their orange juice in cartons from the shop next door, putting ice cubes in the wine, refusing to repair the leaky roof, and only employing staff who are permanently stoned, they've now reprinted their lunchtime menu with the heading 'Main Caurses'. So presumably the chef's from the west country. We would have sampled one, but unfortunately the top of our table fell off the moment we sat down.

But fully refreshed, I spent Friday afternoon watching a Thomas the Tank Engine Singalong video, building a garage, playing with cars, and then getting in one and going to pick up Lisa's nephew from school. After which I abandoned the infantile activities of Nephew Number Two, and joined Nephew Number One in a violent game of castles, skeletons, and guns which shoot lava. The highlight of the afternoon, however, was the discovery that Nephew Number Two, who's still a good two months from his third birthday, can do a word-perfect rendition of the Ian Dury classic, 'Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick'. You haven't lived until you've seen a toddler walking down the street inviting complete strangers to hit him.

Saturday was a more muscially frustrating day, as I discovered on the internet that Finland had been backed in from 25-1 to win the Eurovision Song Contest, to just 8-1, and that Eurovision insiders were viewing them as a dead cert. So I logged in to my betting account to lay down the rent money, promptly found out what the Fins looked like, immediately got cold feet, and backed out of placing a bet. Needless to say I was not a happy bunny come Saturday night.

Sunday brought with it good news though. Apparently Brighton & Hove City Council are requesting that all the open-plan kitchens in the block of flats I'm hoping to move into, are closed off in the name of fire prevention. It's good to know they care. Unfortunately the kitchen in my flat-to-be looks like this...

... so if the council have their way, I'll be officially cooking in a cupboard. But on the bright side, more walls means more wall space to hang pictures of Lisa, which can only be a good thing.

Anyhoo, today's an exciting day, as we're heading back to the Devil's Dyke tonight to claim our rightful place amongst the pub quiz elite. After being robbed of victory two months ago by my refusal to listen to a word Lisa says, we've learned from our mistakes, and are going back full of confidence, and ready to claim the £100 prize. Possibly without cheating. Although Tecwen Whittock's not returning my calls, so we're taking the gay primary school teacher again.