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Thursday, May 18, 2006

Don't Mess With TexasWell we made it to Texas last night, as this dodgy photo completely fails to prove, and much like our last trip to Texas, I've come back tired, drained, and without nearly enough souvenirs. But the good news is that Lisa and I managed to continue our fine tradition of always being seated next to the nutters at the Brighton Centre. I knew we were going to get a good'un when Lisa looked at the empty seat next to us after the support act, and said "If no one arrives in the next two minutes, we can put our coats there". Which is what's called tempting fate. Thirty seconds later our new companion arrived, immediately dropped her mobile phone, and started crawling around on the floor between Lisa's knees, whilst announcing her determination to have a good time. Although personally I felt she didn't get going until three songs into the gig, when she started slapping her thighs in time to the music.

As it happened though, the woman faced stiff competition in the form of a couple of middle-aged lesbians two rows in front, who ingratiated themselves to the whole of the south balcony by doing an advanced aerobics routine throughout most of the concert. By the encore they were practically doing star jumps. Which makes their shared weight problem all the more surprising. They were in row E anyway, which was kind of appropriate as they'd clearly taken one that evening.

As for Texas, well as long as they stuck to the music, they were very good. Unfortunately Sharleen Spiteri, who's clearly let herself go, and was looking slightly podgy in black leggings and a pair of wellies, insisted on chatting to people in the front row between every song, and swearing like a trooper for no apparent reason. I don't mind a quick intro to a song, but after you've sat through five minutes of tedious chat about Scotland, football, and the keyboard player's love of Elton John for the tenth time that night, your patience does begin to wear a little thin. I've never heckled anyone in my life, but I was THIS close (yes, THAT close) to shouting "GET ON WITH IT!!!"

But putting aside my newfound personal hatred of Sharleen Spiteri, the evening was a success. Particularly thanks to the support act - The Upper Room (not to be confused with The Upper Room, who are slightly more religious), a local band from Brighton who are clearly destined for greatness (no, really). It reminded me of when I went to see to see Matchbox Twenty three years ago, only to see them completely outshone by the unknown support band - a certain Maroon 5. Six months later Maroon 5 were at the top of the album charts, and Matchbox Twenty were back doing the nightshift in Tescos (figuratively speaking).

Anyhoo, despite all looking like they were about 12 years old and really shouldn't have been up so late, The Upper Room were excellent. I particularly liked the song 'Kill, Kill, Kill'. It was a touching ballad. So when they're superstars in six months time, and chatting to June Sarpong on a regular basis, remember - you heard of them here first.